


Birthdays

by needleyecandy



Series: Sleeping Beauty [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Actually make that crackcrackcrack!Odin, Anal Sex, Butt Plugs, Crack!Loki, Crack!Odin, Crack!Thor, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Frigga is awesome because of course, Gags, Light Bondage, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Pure Crack, non-graphic childbirth, underage but nothing under 16 and their ages are close
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:17:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1884843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Odin sneaks into Jotunheim and finds a baby, which he brings home, and Frigga says he can keep it. Loki is raised as Thor's younger brother, and they both decide that the other one is the hottest thing to ever exist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Very Good Baby Indeed

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this along with "Dark Mirror, Golden Mirror" because every time angst happened I wanted to make a joke.
> 
>  

Late one night, when everyone was asleep, Odin snuck into Jotunheim. Frigga had dragged him along with her to an ‘improving and interesting’ lecture about Jotun architecture a few days before, and while he didn’t follow everything that the rather dry lecturer was saying, he did like the pictures. He was interested in seeing the magnificent ice castles for himself, but he could hardly tell the Queen that, or she’d be taking him to more talks all the time. So he decided it was best to go alone, and let no one be the wiser.

He had wandered for perhaps three hours, admiring the huge blocks of ice and the delicate crystalline statuary, when he heard a thin cry. A baby, ready for a midnight feeding. Thor was just past that stage, and while Odin was glad to be getting more sleep, he secretly missed spending the quiet time giving his son a bottle. When the cries continued, longer than he thought was appropriate, he decided to investigate. It really didn’t do to leave babies hungry.

He was quite surprised when he found a tiny jotun baby, left all alone, in a temple. Odin shook his head. Imagine, someone forgetting their own baby! Some people simply didn’t deserve to be parents, he thought sadly. He picked up the little bundle, which instantly settled down and stared into his eyes. And this was a very good baby indeed. Odin knew such things. It certainly deserved better parents, parents more like Odin and Frigga…

Well, why not Odin and Frigga? If these people didn’t know a perfectly good baby when they saw one, why shouldn’t he take it back to live in Asgard?

*****

Odin shook Frigga gently awake. She came to slowly and grudgingly, until she realized what, exactly, Odin held in his arms. Her eyes flew open as he told her everything, even admitting, somewhat shamefacedly, that he didn’t really want to attend any more lectures. She reached out her hands to take the child. It was beginning to fidget, being still dressed for the Jotunheim climate, and she quickly changed it - him, she saw - into some of the clothes that Thor had so quickly outgrown.

“We’ll raise him as our own,” Odin said proudly.

“Don’t you think there might be things he’d like to know about where he comes from?” Frigga asked doubtfully.

“He comes from stupid people! Who would want to grow up knowing that? Much better if he, and everyone else, believes he is our son. I’ll cast a glamor on him, and a memory spell on the realm. That will be much better.”

“There’s so little we know about jotun anatomy, Odin…”

“Nonsense! How different can it be?”

*****

Thor took to his new brother immediately. As soon as Loki could walk, Thor began pulling him along everywhere, Loki’s fat baby legs working hard to keep up. They made a charming picture, the taller Thor, little Loki, and Loki’s teddy bear hanging from his free hand. Everywhere they went, people doted upon them, telling Thor what a good brother he was, telling Loki how adorable he was, sneaking sweets to them both.

Telling Frigga that she looked like she could use a good night’s sleep, and perhaps a Doberman.

When Loki was three, he started having nightmares. He screamed and cried in his sleep until Thor climbed down from his bed and curled up around his brother. After a week of this, Thor refused to be put in a separate bed at night. Loki didn’t cry after that.

*****

When Thor turned ten, he was given a staff and told that he was to begin training as a warrior. Loki didn’t like it one bit; they had always had all their lessons together, before this. Thor did like it. Having a year to learn meant that he would be able to teach Loki himself. It would be safer that way; no one else could possibly be as careful with his little brother as he was.

“You see?” Odin told Frigga triumphantly. “Loki’s a good influence on Thor. We couldn’t possibly have hoped for a better pair of sons. I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

To keep Loki busy while Thor was training, Frigga decided to teach him some simple seidr, and was pleased to see how naturally he took to it. Within a few months, both boys were happy with the situation; they had new things to talk about and show each other every day.

*****

Thor got Mjolnir on his sixteenth birthday. This time, Loki didn’t mind. He was still all gangly adolescent limbs, while Thor’s body had begun to broaden and strengthen. They had been lightly, casually flirting for perhaps a year, and they both loved it when Thor would show off, trying to impress his brother. Loki teased Thor, goading him on to ever more dramatic displays as he threw Mjolnir ever farther, higher, into leaps and whorls as she spun in the air before plummeting back to the ground, perilously close to their heads.

Heimdall finally worked up the nerve to ask permission for the boys be shielded from his view. Odin chuckled. “Jealous, eh? Can’t say I blame you,” he said. Everyone knew Heimdall’s kids were a little on the thick side. Nice children, of course, but not on a par with the royal family.

Thor teased Loki too, of course, coaxing him to show how he could fight with magic as well as with the knives he had come to handle so skillfully. Until one day it got a little out of control, and Thor was knocked, hard, onto the ground. Loki fell to his knees beside him, hands running anxiously over Thor to check for broken bones, sprains… swellings. He found one. Their eyes met, sparkling.

It was impossible to tell who initiated their first kiss.

*****

Thor and Loki loved watching the way each others’ bodies changed over the next couple of years. Thor grew ever more massive, his body hewn out of solid muscle. Loki’s body remained slender, but he shed the awkwardness of adolescence and took on long, supple muscles that suited him beautifully.

They had never abandoned their childhood habit of sleeping curled together, and the sexual tones that their relationship had taken encompassed all the care and affection that had always been there. Thor’s protectiveness remained as they slowly, slowly progressed in their exploration of various pleasures. He would have liked to go faster, wanting to savor everything possible with Loki, but his brother was younger, more delicate. And he was simply so grateful that Loki felt for him in this way; as with everything in life, no one else could possibly be as careful with his little brother as he was.

Neither of them had ever touched another, but Thor liked to think of himself as somehow more experienced, because he was older. Loki let him think it, enjoyed letting him think it. But Loki began to grow impatient, wanting more, wanting everything.

“Let’s wait just a little longer,” Thor whispered to him as they lay together, panting in shared exhaustion after each of them had licked and sucked the other into delirious joy. “Something special for your birthday. It’s only a month now.”


	2. A Delightful Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They really should have paid attention in anatomy class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Sire, another envoy from Jotunheim begs an audience of you. It’s the ninth time this week,” said the page nervously.

Odin grumbled under his breath. His pages meant well, but they obviously were not up to the task of striking terror into icy blue hearts. He rose from the throne and followed him to the receiving hall, not wanting to offer even the token welcome of an official audience in the throne room.

The jotun fell to his knees as Odin entered the room. “All-Father, I beg of you-”

“Out!” shouted Odin. “Whatever you have to say, I don’t want to hear it!”

“But there are things that your son, Prince Loki, must know about himself, before he reaches his next birthday, which grows near-”

“No, no, no!” Odin bellowed. “Your people failed him, and there is nothing at all that he needs from you!”

“I beg your pardon, sire, but I was only four when that happened, I couldn’t help it-”

“Drag him away,” Odin told the guards. “Cast him back into Jotunheim, and see that this gate is henceforth sealed. We want no more of this.”

He turned his back and smiled at the sounds of a struggle, followed by a loud clang as the gate slammed shut for the final time. Good. Odin did _not_  want any dreary jotuns harshing his mellow.

*****

Odin and Frigga had a hard time keeping a straight face at dinner that night, watching how poorly their sons managed to hide their flirting.

“Father?” Thor asked. “Might I have permission to take Loki camping next week for his birthday? We would like to go to the-” he cut off with a gasp as Loki’s foot eased smoothly into his lap and stroked, but he covered it up with a cough. “-Sorry. A bread crumb went down the wrong way. As I was saying, we would like to go to the high lake.”

“Of course,” Odin said. “Just remember that you’re needed back before the trade delegation from Vanaheim arrives.”

“I won’t forget, father,” promised Thor.

Odin looked at Loki.

“I’ll make sure of it, father,” Loki assured him.

Thor and Loki excused themselves then, giggling as they left the room. Thor grabbed Loki’s ass as the door closed behind them. “Thor!” Loki hissed.

“Fear not, brother, they saw nothing,” Thor said confidently.

Odin and Frigga watched their sons go, chuckling at the butt-grab, which they most certainly did see. Odin sighed happily as he reflected on how fortunate he was to have such good sons. He felt terrible for other parents, the ones who had to worry about things like teenage pregnancy. No risk of that with _his_  boys, he thought proudly. He was pulled from his musing by Frigga’s hand closing over his own, and he looked over at her.

“Remember when we were their age?” she asked him with a wink.

“Like it was yesterday,” he answered, scooping her up to carry her off, shrieking and laughing, to their chambers.

*****

The heavy sound of boots echoed through the hall as a patrol of einherjar passed by. Loki just had time to drag Thor to the other side of the pillar where they were pressed together, hands roaming frantically as they kissed. “Come on, Thor, this pillar is cold. Let’s go to bed.” He didn’t have to ask twice as Thor swept him up and carried him off.

Back in their room, he quickly drew off their clothing and kissed his way down his brother. Thor whined in pleasure as Loki’s mouth swept down around his burning erection, his tongue drawing little patterns on the head when he drew back. He wetted a single finger in the almond oil that he kept handy ‘for sore muscles’ and slid it in as he lowered his head back down, so that both finger and cock were engulfed at the same moment.

“Please, Loki,” Thor pleaded.

“Mmm, I like it when you beg for it, Thor,” Loki taunted. He teased with licking tongue and soft lips, sinking down and sucking, curling more and more fingers to tease the sweet spot that had Thor shouting, always backing off when it seemed that his climax was getting close, until finally, both his body and his lips were begging with deliciously filthy need. Loki slid his mouth down as far as he could go, coaxing out Thor’s pleasure, keeping his fingers smooth and even, and Thor came with a gasp, spilling down Loki’s throat.

*****

The morning before Loki’s birthday, Thor woke him up with a truly superior blow job. Loki had set a new bar and he was greatly enjoying trying to beat it.

“Is that part of my birthday present?” Loki asked afterward, when he was able to talk.

“No. It’s part of waking you up to go camping. You’d sleep all day if I let you,” Thor told him.

“I can’t imagine who wore me out,” Loki pretended to gripe, but he rose and dressed quickly, as eager for the trip as Thor was. He had already packed, one bag of clothing and other necessities, and a second bag of sex toys. He planned to thoroughly enjoy his birthday, and looked forward to giving Thor a few surprises of his own.

They stopped for lunch when they were about halfway to the lake, eating greedily from the hamper that a cook had packed for them. Loki tugged at his collar uncomfortably. “Is it hot today, Thor? I don’t remember my birthdays being so hot before.”

“No more than usual,” Thor answered, reaching for Loki’s forehead. “You do feel warm, though. You must have overdressed, riding can be more work than it seems. A swim in the lake will cool you right off, as soon as we get there. Perhaps you would be more comfortable without your clothes, in the meantime?”

Loki smirked. “I’m not getting saddle sores from riding naked, no matter how much you might enjoy watching it, Thor. I might do without my tunic, though. You are probably right about my being overdressed.”

When they got to the lake, Loki went for a cooling swim while Thor took on the unpleasant chore of tent-building. Loki did feel better after being in the cold water, and when he strode ashore and approached the tent (which was at least vaguely assembled, even if it was more triangular than square) he was all prepared to show his gratitude. He had barely climbed through the flap, though, before Thor had him flat on his back and was hovering over him.

“Happy almost-birthday, brother,” he whispered. “I found what was in your bag.”

Loki grinned. He couldn’t bring himself to mind having his surprises spoiled, not with the look that spread across Thor’s face as he bent his head to seek out hungry kisses. Their tongues twisted and caressed each other, before Thor broke away to slowly lick and tease his way down Loki’s body.

Thor’s face was buried between Loki’s legs, working his way to the tight entrance, when the strangest thing happened under his lips: where there had been a smooth expanse of skin, suddenly a cleft began to bloom beneath his tongue, and he forgot all about the toys Loki had brought.

“Loki!” Thor said, excitedly. “Loki, feel! Is it not wondrous? I have been told that our bodies might mature at different speeds, and see what yours has just done!”

Thor grabbed Loki’s hand and dragged it between his legs, where Loki found that he suddenly had a cunt. It did seem odd, certainly, but then, Loki couldn’t remember his first chest hair or pubic hair, either, and it seemed that those would likewise have been odd moments in his life, so perhaps he would eventually forget this as well. Nor had he known to expect this, but then, he hadn’t really paid much attention in his anatomy classes, not when studying Thor’s personal anatomy had been so much more intriguing and distracting.

“Is that what happens when we mature?” Loki asked uncertainly. “I just thought my shoulders would grow broader.”

“Well, it must be,” Thor reasoned. “You’re a man now, little brother!”

“Oh... in that case, I think you should congratulate me. I wonder how you might go about that?” Loki said thoughtfully, biting the tip of one finger and tilting his head flirtatiously.

Thor growled his hunger and leapt upon his brother, nibbling his way eagerly downwards until his tongue was dancing about the gorgeous new arrival. It slowly opened to his attentions, the smooth lips swelling and glistening with pleasure. Loki mewled - that was new, and wonderful, Thor thought - and writhed, his lithe, supple body twisting wantonly as he grasped helplessly at the sheets.  Thor kept investigating, mixing everything he knew Loki enjoyed with explorations of this lovely new part. Loki howled, and moaned, and gasped, as Thor kept easing him to higher and higher peaks of pleasure, until Loki was finally so tightly wound that all he could do was lay there, trembling and panting.

This was what Thor was waiting for: a Loki who was hopelessly, desperately filled with need for Thor’s cock, and he moved himself up over his brother, raining kisses down on his face as he whispered to him.

“I’m so glad to have so many ways to bring you pleasure, brother. This is even better than I dreamed our first time might be,” he said. Since he had already spent hours upon perfect hours exploring the pleasures that Loki could take from his more familiar parts, he decided to see how much he could make Loki enjoy his cunt as well. He glided in smoothly, the wet heat grasping at him in welcome. Loki jolted forward with a scream at the delicious intensity and wrapped his legs around Thor’s back, pulling them together. They smiled at each other, lust-glazed eyes locked as Thor slowly increased his pace, Loki’s breathing growing harsher until he was convulsing, moaning his pleasure as his hips jerked against Thor.

He sank back into the bedding for a moment, expecting the warm satiation that usually took him after his climax, but as Thor continued to drive into him, he realized that his need was already growing again, desire spiraling upwards from his core and threatening to overwhelm his mind.

Thor had at first meant to speed up once he saw Loki finish, not wanting to annoy oversensitized nerves, but when he realized that Loki had completed, but yet was not done, he held himself back. He gritted his teeth, struggling to keep control of himself, allowing Loki to enjoy orgasm after orgasm, each one seemingly more intense and perfect than the last. It was beautiful, glorious, to see his brother so. Loki’s face was flushed, his eyes half-lidded as though he had not even enough control to close or open them entirely. His hair was strewn about in lush curls, and his mouth, his perfect mouth, was open in a silent scream of pleasure.

Thor finally gave way, spilling into his brother as he felt Loki’s cunt clench about him, yet again, in his own pleasure. They moved, and moaned, and panted together as the waves of delicious joy washed over them both, until they finally collapsed in one sticky, boneless heap.

Thor was rather pleased with himself when he managed to repeat the whole process three more times that night.

 


	3. Porn Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what the title says. Plot resumes tomorrow.

  
Loki woke first the next morning; the combination of the rising sun and Thor’s raucous snores were difficult to sleep through. He reached between his legs to investigate (and, to be honest, enjoy) his lovely new part, only to find it gone. His eyes flared open.

“Thor!” He shook his brother awake. “Thor! Wake up! It’s gone.”

“What do you mean, it’s gone?” Thor mumbled sleepily.

Loki dragged Thor’s hand downward. “I mean, _it’s gone."_

“Huh. It _is_ gone,” he said. “Maybe it goes away when it’s done, like erections?”

“Do you really think so?” Loki seemed doubtful.

“Well, I guess you could ask mother when we get back…”

“And admit that neither of us paid any attention in anatomy? You know she’s just dying for a chance to drag us to improving lectures, now that father is refusing to attend them.”

“You’re right,” Thor conceded. “What are you going to do?”

“Hmm. Nothing hurts, so I suppose whatever is happening must be all right.”

Thor agreed that this sounded reasonable. Despite Loki waking first this morning, he was much more of a morning person than his brother, and once his initial grogginess had worn off - which happened quickly, when Loki had grabbed his hand and placed it between his deliciously smooth, pale thighs - he was aware of the throbbing of his cock.

He crawled over his brother, reaching for the bag of toys they hadn’t quite gotten around to the night before. He pulled out a pair of wrist restraints, a blindfold and gag, and a lusciously wicked-looking butt plug, and turned back to Loki with a grin. “Who’s been a bad birthday boy?” he asked.

Loki peered at him through long black lashes. “I have,” he whispered.

“I suspected as much,” Thor said. “And now it’s time for you to get what happens to bad boys.” He slathered his fingers in lotion and worked them into Loki, easing in one after another, until Loki was writhing and panting, somehow making the bedding even messier. Thor coated the plug with more lotion and slid it carefully in, smiling ferally at the look of intense concentration on Loki’s face as he was breached by the widest part, before his ring was able to clamp down just beyond it.

“It was very considerate of the designer of this plug to decorate the end,” Thor said, tapping it with his finger and sending shivers coursing through Loki’s body. “These little jewels look lovely twinkling from between your cheeks. Now put your shoes on,” he said, patting Loki’s bottom more firmly and eliciting a moan, “we’re supposed to be hunting, so we’d best get started.”

Loki’s eyes flew open. “But what about…” he looked at the rest of the things that Thor had pulled out of his bag.

Thor chuckled at him. “Well, we have to see if you continue to be the bad birthday boy,” he explained. “Those things are only for good boys. So let’s see how well you hunt today. You know we’re expected to bring home game for the table.”

A trembling thrill ran through Loki. He nodded and rose gingerly, unsure how long the plug would continue to be a savor rather than a torment, but he was determined to enjoy it while he could. He reached for his tunic, only to have his hand slapped lightly away by Thor.

“I told you, put your shoes on,” he said. “I didn’t say you could wear your other clothes.”

*****  
Hunting did indeed prove difficult with the constant distraction in Loki’s ass, but it made both of them more determined to finish quickly, Loki because he wanted the rewards that lay in wait for him, Thor because each time the sun shone against the jewels embedded in it, he felt a flare of jealousy. By mid-afternoon, when they had caught nothing, they agreed to give up for the day.

Loki had just turned to walk back to their campsite when Thor swept up him and threw him over a broad shoulder.

“Thor!” Loki shrieked, laughing and flailing his feet.

He stopped shrieking when Thor’s hand clasped the end of the sparkling plug, though. Thor teased him with it the whole way back to the tent, tugging it lightly, tapping the end, twisting and pressing. They hadn’t gotten more than ten steps before Loki’s cock, which had been hard for hours, was throbbing against Thor’s chest, slickness dripping from the slit and running ticklishly down Thor’s stomach.

Thor set Loki back on his feet as they approached the tent, and they crawled inside to find Loki’s potential reward strewn promisingly across their tousled sheets. Loki eyed his brother speculatively, biting his lip in the way he knew Thor could never quite manage to resist.

“You know, Thor,” he said winningly, “I really did try my best with the hunting.”

Thor grinned at him. “That’s all anyone can ask of you,” he answered. “Why don’t you come here and get your reward?”

Loki crawled to Thor, hips wiggling deliciously. Thor wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and gave him a deep, probing kiss.

“Happy birthday, Loki,” he said softly. “Open wide.”

Loki obediently did so, and Thor eased the gag into his mouth and fastened the broad strap behind his head, careful not to catch any hair.

“How is it,” Thor asked, “good?”

“Mmm,” Loki answered, nodding.

And he certainly looked it, Thor thought, the bright red ball stretching his mouth open beautifully, his chest heaving in anticipation. His bright eyes watched as Thor made a show of choosing what to use next. Loki’s cock was throbbing as Thor kept teasing him, reaching first for the restraints, then the blindfold, and back again. He finally picked up the restraints and turned back to Loki, who was already holding his wrists out eagerly. Thor strapped them together, leaving just enough play for Loki to be able to support himself later on, and finally blindfolded him.

Thor laid Loki carefully back onto the soft bed. Loki’s heart sped as he tried to imagine what, exactly, Thor would do to him first. He was not expecting the first thing to be putting one of Loki’s ankles up over his shoulder, but he was glad of it. The plug had been tormenting him for hours, and he was desperately ready to have it replaced by Thor’s cock. He felt Thor twisting to get a good angle, and then he was carefully easing it out, and Loki was free, and open, and so exquisitely hungry to be filled again. Thor quickly worked more of the lotion into him, sliding it inward with brisk, efficient fingers that made Loki moan through his gag.

Thor flipped Loki over and pulled him up to his hands and knees. He put one knee between Loki’s calves, balancing between that and a foot planted firmly on the mattress outside Loki’s leg. He teased the hungry entrance for a moment with the head of his cock, luxuriating in the desperate muffled pleas it caused, before sliding in carefully. He stopped every inch or so, waiting for Loki to give a nod of permission before continuing. It was so hot, and so tight, and it took all his self-control to go slowly, but he knew how much extra power his thrusts had when he was like this, one foot poised to strengthen his motions, and he wanted this to be equally enjoyable for them both.

Finally he was all the way in, and at the impatient toss of Loki’s head, he began to drag himself slowly in and out, letting the delicious tension build in both their bodies until the delicate fluttering of Loki’s passage around his cock warned him that his brother was as near as he was. Thor reached around and took a firm, careful hold on Loki’s cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts, and was gratified, deliriously gratified, when he felt Loki’s spend pulsing out of him in the same rhythm that Thor’s throbbed deep into the pale body before him.

*****

Back in Asgard, things carried on pretty much the same as always, until one night, Thor was awoken by Loki shaking him by the shoulder. “Thor! It’s back!” he said excitedly.

Thor was not one to pass up any opportunity to give his brother as many kinds of pleasure as possible, and he took full advantage of the Return of the Cunt, as he thought of it. It was delightful, the way it gave Loki so much pleasure that he would faint simply from Thor’s tongue, and then be reawoken by Thor’s cock. Thor would never admit to it, but he was the tiniest bit jealous.

The next morning it was gone again, but this time, neither were surprised. Apparently it was just going to come and go as it wished, and they would simply enjoy it as one of many ways to please each other.

“I do hope you get yours soon, though, brother,” Loki told Thor. “It is so lovely to have another way to enjoy you, and I wish you could feel the same.”

“You are kind, Loki, but we must be patient. I am sure mine will come in time,” Thor answered, kissing Loki on the tip of his nose.

They waited months for another Return, but to no avail.

 


	4. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything works out for the best because everything is wonderful and happy and good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading along with me, and for all the feedback, I'm so happy it's being enjoyed!

What did come was Loki’s stomach, slowly growing. He gave up drinking anything but water, and then - a more painful sacrifice - eating sweets, to no avail. He hid it under loose tunics as long as he could, but finally was forced to admit that he needed some help with his weight. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if it were more evenly distributed, he thought, but no, it had to settle at his belly.

“Hmm,” said Eir. “You’re right, this is a strange way for fat to deposit, especially in one so young as you.”

She hovered her hands over his body, moving first from head to toe, before slowly settling in to stillness above his abdomen. She held still for several minutes, before her eyes flared wide.

“What is it?” Loki asked nervously.

“It’s… well…”

“What?” Loki’s nerves were quickly giving way to panic, and he suddenly wished he had brought Thor along to hold his hand.

“It’s… you’re pregnant,” she said.

Loki laughed. “That’s impossible,” he explained. “I’m a man.”

“Be that as it may, you have a womb, and it is not empty.”

“But how…?” he boggled at her.

She stared back at him blankly.

*****

Loki was terrified to tell Thor, afraid it would ruin what they had together, afraid Thor would be sad or disappointed. Loki knew Thor would have to have children someday, for the good of the realm, but he was so clearly enjoying his youth. Thor took the news well, though. Better than well.

“I don’t understand it brother, but I am so happy, all the same. I have long dreaded the day I would be expected to separate from you and take a wife, to give Asgard an heir,” he said, nearly weeping. “And now we are to have a child of our own, heir twice-over to the throne. I know we are young to be parents, but this is truly the answer to all my hopes,” he whispered fiercely.

He took Loki’s hand and looked into his eyes. “Loki,” he asked, “will you marry me?”

“I’m not sure brothers can marry, Thor,” Loki said hesitantly.

“Nor can men fall pregnant, yet here you are,” Thor answered, fondly patting Loki’s swelling belly. “And the mother of the heir should be queen. If you will have me,” he added.

Loki’s eyelashes grew wet and heavy as he smiled. “I will,” he said.

Thor’s smile rivalled the sun, thought Loki.

“Let’s go tell mother and father.” Thor tugged on Loki’s hand and pulled him along to the throne room.

Odin sat on the throne, while Frigga mingled and chatted with the petitioners who were waiting their turn to address the king. Thor and Loki politely took their place in line, hands sweating nervously against each other.

Finally, it was their turn to approach the throne.

“Father, might we beg a private audience?” Thor asked.

“We’re having a family dinner tonight, aren’t we?” Odin asked. Frigga discreetly nodded _yes_. “Yes, we are,” he said more confidently. “Could this not wait?”

“I do not think so, father,” Loki said.

“Oh, very well,” Odin grumbled, motioning at the guards to move the rest of the line to wait outside.

The brothers approached the throne nervously. Loki looked at Thor. “Go on,” he said. “I already had to tell you.”

Thor cleared his throat. “Mother. Father. Loki and I have news. Loki is… there is to be an heir, after us.”

Frigga’s eyes bulged.

Odin looked at her, confused.

“I told you we should have tried to find out more, Odin,” she said, her voice full of warning.

“Oh!” Sudden realization swept over his face. So much for not having to worry about teen pregnancy.

Thor and Loki glanced at each other, confused.

“You see,” Odin began, “there’s a little thing in Loki’s background, really so small as to be hardly worth the notice-”

“Odin!” Frigga snapped.

“Yes… well… the thing is… Loki didn’t become our son the same way Thor did,” Odin said.

They stared at him.

“We got Thor the same way as…” Odin gestured at Loki’s abdomen. “I assume, anyway. But the way we got Loki, was, well, I found you one night on Jotunheim, and there weren’t any parents around, so I brought you home, and Frigga said we could keep you.”

“You found me on Jotunheim?” Loki asked, so dazed that he half-forgot why they had even come to their parents. “Why did you never tell me?”

Odin sighed. “I just… I didn’t want you to know that you had such stupid parents,” he admitted. “They must have been to a temple service and forgot you when they left. I loved you the moment I held you, and I knew, whoever might have given life to you, that you were mine.”

Loki’s eyes softened. “Of course I am,” he said.

Frigga interrupted. “Now that this is in the open, I think we must send a messenger to Jotunheim at once, to find out how we can best care for Loki while he is expecting.”

“Oh, yes! Of course,” Odin agreed.

The emissary was back within the hour, accompanied by the same jotun that Odin had expelled a few months earlier. Odin stared around the room, avoiding eye contact and whistling casually.

“So now you agree to hear me, All-Father,” grumbled the jotun.

Frigga’s head whirled towards him. “What?” she asked sharply.

“Oh- oh, ahem, nothing to worry about, my dear,” mumbled Odin.

The jotun, it turned out, was Loki’s elder brother, Helblindi. He was a small child when Loki was born, and he had been so excited to become a brother. However, Helblindi had to acknowledge that, kind-hearted as his parents were, they were also incredibly absent-minded. When they forgot Loki (‘Loptr,’ Helblindi called him) in the temple, Helblindi was worried, but after his search for his brother was in vain, he decided that the Norns must have chosen a better fate for the child.

When he returned to the palace with the news that Loki had been taken up, not found frozen dead, there was widespread rejoicing. It was only years later - this year, in fact - that Helblindi had thought on it again, and noticed a glaring coincidence between the date his brother went missing and the date that Asgard got another prince.

Helblindi took Loki aside to explain the basics of jotun reproduction to him, Loki’s eyes growing wider by the second. Heat cycles, indeed. Apparently, according to Helblindi, these were overwhelming, often terrifying experiences of insatiable, mind-wrecking lust. Loki really hadn’t noticed a difference. Until Helblindi belatedly mentioned that it was accompanied by the cunt opening to allow for breeding.

“Oh,” Loki said. “Well, I suppose that makes sense.”

They sat together at dinner, sharing stories of their lives, until Helblindi reluctantly made his apologies, explaining that if Laufey was left alone for too long he began issuing proclamations in terribly rhymed limericks, and it drove the court to distraction. Helblindi smiled fondly as he left. He had not only gotten to meet his brother; he also got to see that his brother had grown up very happy indeed. Loki had a wonderful family, a loving fiance, and would one day help his husband rule Asgard. It was everything he could hope for for someone he loved.

*****

Four months later, the Return of the Cunt came again. “Enjoy it while you can,” Eir grumbled to Loki. “In a day or two you’re going to have very different feelings.”

Loki grabbed Thor’s hand and ran, as quickly as he could in his present state, back to their chambers.

*****

The next morning, Loki’s hips had spread so far he couldn’t walk. That afternoon, his water broke. Thor carried him gently back to Eir. She could see the contractions rippling through his lower body.

“Tell me when you need something for the pain,” she told him.

“All right,” Loki said agreeably, munching on a bowl of grapes.

*****

When three a.m. came around, Thor kissed Loki on the forehead. “Shall I leave, so you can rest?” he asked.

“No,” Loki said idly. “I don’t think it’s much longer now, and I’d hate to sleep through it.”

Eir, who had had three children herself, much less comfortably, glared at him through heavy lids.

*****

Thor and Loki were in the midst of a game of cards, whispering quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping Eir, when Loki sat up with a gasp.

“Thor!” he said excitedly. “I think it’s-”

He didn’t have a chance to finish, though, before Thor had his hands in place and was catching the baby… their daughter.

Tears streamed down Thor’s face as he quickly cleaned her and placed her on Loki’s chest. Her skin was a delicate blue, and her eyes an enchanting violet, and she had ten fingers and ten toes and a wisp of blonde hair and the most perfect smile they’d ever seen. Thor sent a page for their parents before returning to kneel at Loki’s bedside, pressing kiss after kiss upon Loki’s hands.

Odin and Frigga crept in silently, smiling at Thor and Loki, before peering down into the bundle of squirming blankets. They couldn’t stop staring until Loki finally was unable to suppress his yawns. Thor woke Eir, then, to check the baby and ask if he could take her and Loki back to their chambers.

“She’s in perfect health,” Eir said. “They both are. Go ahead, Loki will rest better in his own bed.”

Thor carefully placed the sleeping child back in Loki’s arms, then swept Loki up in his own. He carried them through the halls of Gladsheim to their chambers, taking them home.

 

 


End file.
